“I’ve learned these concepts gradually over the last decade. Together they have helped me live a life of purpose. Had I understood these things 10 years ago, I could have avoided quite a bit of confusion and grief. So today I figured I’d share a few more things I wish I had known sooner. My hope is that they help you hurdle over some of the barriers I stumbled into on the road of life.” – Marc Chernoff, writer.
Ten years ago, I’d just finished university. I was studying hard to become an English teacher, and I was just about to start my first job at a primary school in my home town. Since then, so much has changed in almost every aspect of my life.
Couple of days ago, I looked back at some of those major changes that had the biggest impact in my life and on some of the life lessons that have helped me along the way—things I wish I’d been able to tell my 10-years-younger self.
Here are the 10 things I wish I knew earlier:
1. Loving someone should not mean losing YOU
True love motivates you, it doesn’t erase you. It allows us to build amazing things, by working together through passion, kindness, and good will. So be strong enough to stand alone, be yourself enough to stand apart, but be wise enough to share your love and stand together when the time comes.
2. Getting even doesn’t help you GET AHEAD
To be able to forgive is a virtue and a source of your inner peace, trust me. It is the only way and the same time the best way , to move on when someone hurts or betrays you. You can’t get ahead of anyone by getting even with them, returning them the pain they caused you. You need forgiveness just as much as they do.
3. At times, what you don’t want is what you NEED
Sometimes the things you can’t change end up changing you for the better. At times, these unchangeable things end up changing you for the better. Controlling external events do not always bear fruit and so, we shouldn’t attempt otherwise. Often, life will get you exactly where you need to be, even if it is where you don’t want to be.
4. Learn from your failures and they will become your SUCCESS
Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Other people can’t stop you. These barriers are temporary – they come and go. Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want. Which is why, over the course of a lifetime, the only barrier that can truly stop you, is YOU. So NEVER give up. Sometimes you have to journey through hell on Earth to find heaven on Earth.
5. Be PATIENT
Sometimes, some things need a great degree of patience and a long-term mentality. You can’t become a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in six months or even six years. It takes a long time, a lot of discipline, and a great deal of consistency no matter how dedicated or talented you are.
6. Your PAST can only hurt you today if you let it
It’s called past for a reason. Do not pay any attention to what the past whispers if all it’s doing is bad-mouthing what today has to offer. Thinking of the bitter times from the past will only pull you back and you need to move forward!
7. Enjoy all the SMALL MOMENTS along the way
Life can’t be all work and no play. Things will more than likely take a while to materialize fully, so take moments every now and then to celebrate what you’ve achieved so far. It’s important to know what or who it is that recharges you and keeps you from burning out.
8. All the pain is WORTH IT
You cannot appreciate happiness if you don’t know pain what pain is. How will you appreciate life until it has knocked you down a few times? Obviously, you have to endure the struggle up the mountainside if you want to appreciate the astounding view from the mountaintop. There is no appreciation for the good if you don’t experience the bad.
9. TRAVEL as often and as far as you can
The best way to expand your mind and give yourself a new point of view on the world is to take a trip. Some of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my life can be traced directly to a moment or an experience I had while traveling.
10. You get what you GIVE
Happiness, freedom, and peace of mind are always attained by giving them out to others without expectation. From my experience the phenomenon what comes around, goes around exists. Give love, respect, show kindness and gratitude without expectations and they will return abundantly. If you bless others, you will be blessed too.